I found an interesting page that lays out the pros/cons of closed, semi-open, and open adoptions. Here's the link to the pros. Here's the link to the cons.

For all intents and purposes the vast majority of international adoptions are closed. Ours is, at least for now. We're debating whether or not to make birthparent contact (it's a debate because Little J was removed from custody and not vountarily relinquished). I think we'll end up contacting her, but we're a bit reluctant to open that proverbial can of worms at the present time.

Here are the pros of having a closed adoption, according to the website (A Child To Love):

For the Birth Parents:

• Provides real choice for birth parents when compared to open adoption.



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• Privacy.



• Some feel this provides a sense of closure and ability to move on with life.

For the adoptive parents:

• No need to physically share the child with birth parents.



• No danger of birth parent interference or co-parenting.

For the adopted person:

• Protection from unstable or emotionally disturbed birth parents.

Here are the cons of a closed adoption from the A Child to Love website:

For the birthparents:

• Less grief resolution due to lack of information about the child's well-being.



• May encourage denial of fact that child was born and placed with another family.

For the adoptive parents:

• Allows for denial of "adopted family" or fertility status.


• Increased fear, less empathy for birth parents.



• No access to additional medical information about birth family.



• Less control: agency controls information.

Or, in the case of international adoption, the other country's gigantic beauracracy controls that information.

For the adopted person:

• Possible adolescent identity confusion (unable to compare physical and emotional traits to their birth families).



• Limited access to information that others take for granted.



• Potential preoccupation with adoption issues.

Of the triad participants I am most concerned with the adoptee. I am a big girl. I can handle the cons of contacting Little J's mom. But Little J is still almost a baby, and soon he'll be an adolescent with all that that special age brings. I think we owe it to him to open up our adoption a little more. After all, we're lucky in that we have a name and a probably location. Many parents of children adopted internationally don't have that gift to give.