February 24th, 2009
Posted By:
Categories: Cost, Siblings

Greetings! I’m Robyn, a new blogger here at Adoption Blogs. I’m mom to Jack, through private, open, domestic adoption. Jack’s adoption, from signing with our agency to finalization, took just over one year, from May, 2005 to August, 2006.

Today was a very bad day for me, as we received some unfortunate financial news. Like many families, we’re experiencing a period of extreme belt-tightening. The hardest part of this for me is knowing that we’ll have to delay our next adoption.

I had always wanted a big family. As a child, I was going to have 8 kids and name them all after the characters in the Trixie Belden books. Then, I was going to adopt 6 kids. Then, I started dating my now-husband, who wasn’t sure he wanted any kids, but eventually acquiesced to 2, with the possibility of more, but probably just the 2.

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I’m one of 2 children. I have a younger sister, and we don’t get along, which I attribute in part to the fact that we’re only 19 months apart in age. I know many people get along with their close-in-age siblings, but for me, it’s important that my children weren’t too close together in age. From my experiences with friends and other family members, about 3 – 5 years seems to be good. Close enough that they can play, but far enough apart that each gets his or her own space.

It’s also important to me that my son has a sibling. My husband is an only child. I know he had struggles growing up, and he’s unsure about how to be the only person to handle his parents’ affairs if it ever becomes necessary. He’s also the only one to carry on his family’s name.

My son, Jack, is 3 years old now, and started asking for a little sister last summer. His best friend’s mom was pregnant with a baby girl. Sitting between my husband and me on the couch, Jack looked at me and said, “I want a baby sister.”

“Ask your father,” I replied.

He swiveled his head and looked at Daddy. “I want a baby sister.”

Funny, yes. But now he is actively looking forward to having a sister. He started asking again around Christmas time, and I told him that someday he would, but not until he was at least 4. He painted a picture and told us that it’s “for my baby sister when I’m four”.

However, in today’s world, he’s more likely to be 5 before we can think of adopting again.

Now, some people would say “just do foster adopt” because it costs less – it can even be free. However, I feel that one shouldn’t choose a form of adoption simply because of financial cost. There are different challenges with the different forms of adoption. A family should choose the type of adoption that fits them, and hopefully work out the financial cost. There are low-cost agencies and adoption professionals who work with families within a budget. It can be done.

Despite knowing that, it still stings that Jack can’t have his little sister. I had hoped to begin the process again by now, knowing that because we’ll be specifying gender, the wait will likely be longer. It’s more important, of course, to make sure that our family is financially stable.

That’s my story. How has the economy affected your hopes of adopting?

Photo Credit.

2 Responses to “It’s the Economy”

  1. ranzwilling@otbnet.c says:

    Hi, I’m new to this site and I too haave adopted.My daughther who is an adult now is proud of the fact she is adopted. When I developed diabetes she told one of her teachers that she didn’t have to watch her diet–she was adopted. I an still involved in the foster care program and I enjoy all aspects of fostering and adopting. Ruth

  2. hannahbg says:

    I am also new and we are foster parents with the hope to adopt out of the system. We chose adoption from the foster care system because of the financial burden. I really am discouraged as well with the economy. Loans to adopt have completely dried up. We have tried to apply and find a way to make this work. We have cut almost every additional expense we can think of and we are only able to still save $200 a month. At that rate we could really be working towards this for years! We are young but want a family. We are currently fostering three children. The infant we are wanting to adopt and it is looking good but could also take years to complete. Our other two children we would love to have but their parents are working towards getting them back so we are trying to be positive but would take them in a heart beat if their parents fail to complete their plan. Any ideas?

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