When we announced our plans to adopt a baby, most people were very supportive and excited for us. People asked us lots of questions about the adoption process, and I was happy to answer them. I was so excited to be moving toward becoming a parent. However, not every person in my life was supportive of our decision to adopt. My grandparents had serious reservations about our decision and even tried to talk us out of it, even going as far as saying that perhaps it was God’s will for me to never be a mother. Boy, did I feel that comment like a punch in the stomach.

My grandparents were frightened about so many things. If they had educated themselves about the adoption process, perhaps they would have been a little less freaked out by the idea, but they did not do this. Some of the things they feared were…

• The adoption agency would steal our money without giving us a baby


• The baby would be unhealthy and drain us financially


• The baby would be a different race (That comment really ticked me off. I did not care if the baby was PURPLE!)


• The baby would not be smart


• The baby would not be “good enough” for our family

Okay, I’ve got to say that the last comment really cracked me up. If my husband and I were birthparents, I could see the adoptive parents having some serious reservations about adopting our birthchild. Between our two families, there is a history of mental illness, heart disease, cancer, stroke, and infertility, so who were we to “judge” the health history of a birthfamily? I am relieved to know that my son did NOT inherit our genes! LOL

I told my grandparents repeatedly that I appreciated their concern but that we knew what we were doing. I feared their reaction when they first met our son. If they did not receive him as their great-grandchild, then my nuclear family would not be coming back. My grandparents pleasantly surprised me by embracing Nicholas as their great-grandchild from the very beginning. After all of their reservations, I expected the worst. Instead, they held him in their arms and told me over and over how beautiful he was. He has now become one of their favorite great-grandchildren. Nicholas is very affectionate, and my grandparents love him to pieces.

Unfortunately, not every story turns out this way. I have heard horror stories of extended family members refusing to treat an adopted child the same as a bio child. I am grateful that this was not the case for us. I would not have tolerated my son being treated badly, which I am sure played a part in his acceptance. However, I like to believe that their acceptance had more do to with him being the amazing kid that he is. Who COULDN’T love a kid like him?

Related Links:

• Choosing to adopt- when family disapproves



• Unsolicited Comments About Your Family Planning


• Does your family accept your decision to adopt?


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