When my husband and I were waiting to adopt, it was hard to decide whether to make plans in advance. On the one hand, it could take a long time to be matched with an expecting mother, so there was no point in putting our lives on hold. On the other hand, we did not want to pay a lot of money toward a vacation, only to lose our deposit if we were matched quickly.

This issue became even more of a struggle during the holiday season. Should we plan on traveling to visit family in another state for Christmas? What if we were matched at the last minute? Even worse, what if an expecting mother chose us but, because we were unavailable for a week, chose another waiting couple instead? (We were very much behind the times in getting cell phones.) What if we were matched with a baby who was just born but we could not get home to the baby quickly because of holiday plans that took us out of town?

I could have driven myself crazy if I allowed myself to play the "what if" game too long. Instead, hub and I decided just to live our lives. We made holiday and vacation plans and decided to eat the loss of any deposits if we were matched sooner than expected. Considering the cost of an adoption, that loss would be chump change in comparison.

If you are in this position, my advice is to make your holiday plans and enjoy them as best you can. If you get "the call" during this time, it will make your holidays even sweeter. If you do not get "the call," then you won't feel foolish about missing out on things you would have enjoyed doing for no reason.

Also, if you do not already have one, get a cell phone. You can get a cheap cell phone with limited minutes and no long-term cellular plan for this purpose. That way, you will not stress out about whether you are missing an important call from your social worker.

There is no reason to keep yourself anchored to your phone at home this holiday season. Spend the holidays with someone you love. Hopefully next year, you will have one (or more) additional loved ones with you.

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Surviving the Wait: Christmas, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt