My husband and I could not agree on a name for a baby boy. While his ideas for girls’ names (mostly names that sounded like porn stars) and my ideas for girls’ names (too “Southern belle,” according to him) were vastly different, we did find enough overlap to select a name – Caroline. Choosing a boy’s name was a completely different matter.

I had three rules for baby names, regardless of gender:

1. The name could not be gender-neutral (no “Pats” from Saturday Night Live).


2. The name must pass the “CEO” test. (If I could not imagine a Fortune 500 company announcing its new CEO, “Fifi,” then that name was out of the running.)


3. No names ending in “y.” (So many names end in “y.” I wanted something a little different.)

My fourth rule was more of a guideline – I really like three-syllable names, although that would not be a deal breaker.

Of course, my husband’s two top picks for boys were Terry and Tracy, two names that sounded gender-neutral, ended in “y,” and were only two syllables. So, I thought I would throw out my suggestions and let him give a thumbs up or down. He rejected every name I suggested, and his reasons absolutely baffled me. (Note: The following is for humor purposes only. Please take no offense if you love any of these names. I like them, too.)

Here were some of my suggestions and his reasons for rejection:

• Phillip – “I don’t want to name my kid after a gas station.” (He was talking about Phillips 66.)


• Daniel – “Elton John wrote a song about that name.”


• Adam – “It sounds like you are trying to be important by naming your kid after the first man.”


• Jeremy – “It sounds like a leprechaun.” (This was the most perplexing reason to me. I have never heard of a leprechaun named Jeremy. And, yes, I know that the name violates my “ending in ‘y’” rule. LOL)


• Joshua – “Too trendy.” (I countered with the fact that Joshua is the sixth book of the Bible, so it is clearly an old name, but he wouldn’t budge.)


• Mark – “You can thank that jerk Mark at the gym for removing that name off the list.”

It’s a wonder that we ever agreed on a name. Fortunately, we both liked the name Nicholas, so that is what we named our kid. We gave our son a family name for his middle name. That decision was surprisingly easy.

Some couples are lucky enough to immediately agree upon a name, but I think that is unusual. I hear many more couples negotiating names, whether the child joins the family through adoption or not. So, if you find yourself struggling with your spouse to choose a name, don’t despair: It’s a normal part of preparing for a child.

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