My last topic was kind of depressing, so let’s move on to a more fun topic — naming your child.

When my husband and I were waiting to be matched with an expecting mother, we were hesitant to make any plans. We did not want to buy little girl clothing in case we adopted a boy (and vice versa). We did not want to buy gender-neutral summer outfits in case the baby was born in the dead of winter.

The one thing that we knew our baby would need was a name, so we found hours of pleasure, and quite a bit of frustration, talking about baby names. (I will explain the frustrations in my next post.)

There are many issues to consider when naming a child who joins your family through adoption. In addition to the same challenges that all couples face when trying to decide upon a name that they both like, there are other issues that are specific to the adopted child:

• If you match with an expecting mother, will you consider her input in naming the baby?



• What if you cannot reach agreement between adoptive mother, adoptive father, and the expecting mother?


• If you are adopting from another country, should you choose a name from that culture or Americanize the child’s name?


• Should the age of the child factor into your decision of whether or not to change the name? If so, what is the cut-off?


• If you are adopting out of foster care, should you keep the child’s name or change it?

To muddy the waters further, there is no agreement on many of these issues within the adoption community, so you will need to reach your own conclusions on what is the best decision for your family. You might want to read up on the Top Ten Ways to Deal with Meddlers because, no matter what name you choose, somebody is going to criticize your choice. In my opinion, you need to make the decision that works for you and your family.

Related Topics:

• The name game...Laura or Li Hua?


• How to name your child