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A child’s name is a loving gift that we bestow upon a child. Naming a child carries with it a big responsibility.
Most of us know people who dislike their names for various reasons. We want a child’s name to describe who he is, and we want the name to be representative of the love we feel for him. Few people purposely choose a name that they despise for their children.
A name can be a gift from either the adoptive parents or the birthparents. For some lucky children, the name is a gift mutually given by both. Sharing the responsibility for choosing a name can bring people together, such as when adoptive parents invite an expecting mother’s input into the decision-making process.
Since no two people completely agree on any issue, choosing a name together can also be a challenge. (See my post Naming Your Child: Reaching Agreement to read about the challenges that my husband and I faced in naming our son.)
Names can mean so much more than what you are called by your family and friends. A name can reassure a child that he is truly part of the family, such as when you give your child a family name. It can remind a child of his rich heritage when he is given an ethnic name. A name can communicate that a child is fully part of a new country as he tries on his Americanized name. A name can mean a new beginning for a child who is learning to live in a household without abuse.
Naming a child is also fun! When you are going through the arduous adoption process, it is nice to have something fun to do while you wait for your child. It is fun to fantasize about cute little Caroline in her ruffled pink dress or handsome little Nicholas. Child names make the process seem more real.
When we were matched with my son’s then-expecting mother, hearing that he was a boy made his coming seem so much more real. Giving him a name that we loved helped us to believe that, after all of our struggles, we really were going to be parents.
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Interesting thoughts. When we adopted our three (at the ages of 5, 8 & 11), I didn’t change any of their first names, just their middle and of couse, their last name. Part of the reason was that we adopted siblings and they were used to calling each other by their name.
Hi Joanne!! Thanks for your comment.
I agree that it might be complicated for a child to start calling his/her sibling by a different name after growing up thinking of the sibling as another name.
- Faith