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Hoping to Adopt Blog

06/18/07

Nesting: Registering for Baby Gifts

Posted by : Faith Allen in Hoping to Adopt Blog at 05:36 am , 444 words, 98 views  
Categories: Nesting
Yard Sale (c) Lynda Bernhardt

A very fun part of nesting is filling out your registry for baby gifts. There is no “right” time to do this other than before your first baby shower. I waited until we were matched with a placing mother. I know other people who registered before that. It is exciting to go down each aisle and think about the things that you will need to prepare for your new addition; however, it can also be painful if you don’t know that a new addition is on the way yet. Follow your heart on this one.


You can register for many different items. If you have many friends who know all you have endured to become a parent, you might find that they are very generous. I was blown away by the generosity of my friends when we announced that a baby was finally on its way. Buying presents for your baby is a lot easier on your friends if you tell them what you want.



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Be sure to register for both large and small items. Some people are reluctant to register for big items because they fear that they are “asking too much.” Actually, large gifts are fun for groups to buy together. The secretaries from my husband’s office chipped in to buy our high chair. They took a lot of pleasure in buying us one big present instead of a bunch of small ones.


If you are like I was, then you have no idea what to register for. That is where a good friend who is already a parent comes in. My sister walked with confidence through Babies R Us, scanning items like there was no tomorrow, including many items that I had never even heard of. I never would have thought to purchase Baby Tylenol or diaper rash cream, but she knew that I would need these items. I also thought she was insane when she added cloth diapers to the list, but she said that they would serve as a barrier between a squirting baby and me when I changed the baby’s diaper.


The book What to Expect the First Year provides a comprehensive list of the items that you will need for a new baby. My sister read over the list and crossed a few items off, such as ipecac syrup, which the American Academy of Pediatrics now discourages. (See When Should You Use Syrup of Ipecac for Poisoning? for more on that topic.) However, she said that most of the items were great ideas. I really liked having a checklist that I could take with me to register.

Related Topic:

Notes for Those Adopting Infants

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: roni [Member] Email · http://rondidondi.wordpress.com
Not sure how to put this, but I'd like to add that it might be beneficial to have the baby shower after the adoption is finalized. As a mother that decided to parent my son, I am aware of the horrendous pain I inflicted on the prospective adoptive parents. J the adopt. mother had a baby shower prior to the birth and I'm sure all these items she recieved are reminders of how I took her "dream" away. I was at one of her showers as well, and recieved gifts, (which I previously told people I DID NOT WANT. I was kinda upset, but I know they meant well. I have actually donated these items to our local Neighbors Place.) Some people that bought her presents also like to harrass me, that I owe them for these gifts.
I suggest... get what you need at first. After all finalized, SPOIL THE LITTLE GUY/GAL.
Also-my FAVORITE item, a baby wrap. My lil guy "hangs" out with me, as I clean the house, do laundry, etc. and both my hands are free. He LOVES it!
PermalinkPermalink 06/18/07 @ 09:24
Comment from: Faith Allen [Member] Email · http://hoping.adoptionblogs.com/
Roni,

Thank you for your comments. That is a very good point, and it also prevents the expecting mother from feeling pressured to place the baby for adoption just because a baby shower had already been held for the hopeful adoptive parents.

I, personally, requested only gender-neutral items so that I could use them for our baby whenever our baby joined our family, whether or not THIS baby was to be our forever child. I think I would have been okay with holding onto the items for a future baby. However, you are correct that some people would see those items as a reminder of the "lost" dream rather than as for the baby who would be the forever child.

Re: "Some people that bought her presents also like to harrass me, that I owe them for these gifts."

That is absolutely uncalled for. Those people should be ashamed of themselves.

Thanks for the plug about the baby wrap, too. :0)

- Faith
PermalinkPermalink 06/18/07 @ 09:35
Comment from: roni [Member] Email · http://rondidondi.wordpress.com
I most definately agree with the "gender-neutral" items. We knew I was having a boy and J had a name for him already. She did recieve some personalized items.
..."and it also prevents the expecting mother from feeling pressured to place the baby for adoption just because a baby shower had already been held for the hopeful adoptive parents." - very true in my case along with other factors, but I ended up looking the other way.
PermalinkPermalink 06/18/07 @ 10:12
Comment from: Faith Allen [Member] Email · http://hoping.adoptionblogs.com/
Ooh -- I would strongly advise against receiving personalized items until birthparents' rights have terminated. Considering that a failed adoption can feel like a death to a hopeful adoptive couple, they might not choose to use the same name again.

Thank you for raising these issues. I think they are important for hopeful adoptive parents to consider.

- Faith
PermalinkPermalink 06/18/07 @ 15:00
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