Storkmom, a member of the adoption.com forums, generously gave me permission to repost something she wrote a couple of weeks ago about her family's semi-open adoption experience.

I think it's important to show all perspectives of adoption. What "open" means to one family is not the same as what "open" means to another. In this family's case, the adoption is semi-open, chosen by Storkmom's son's birthmother. Here's her story:

>We were married about 10 years before we were able to finally pursue adoption. All our friends/family who have adoption experiences are in closed scenarios. In the beginning, we had many fears and confusion about open.

After we visited w/ several agencies and did a little research, we realized how important it is and how great an open adoption can be FOR THE CHILD as well as all parents involved. It can allow for some better adjustment. We ended up desiring a semi-open arrangement, but we were willing to consider an open arrangement, based on certain circumstances and if we felt it would be a good thing after meeting the expectant parent(s).

In our state, once the birthmom signed her papers, her decision to place was final, and we were his parents forever. Same thing if a bfather signs papers. Legal risk would be incurred if you have to wait for right to be terminated involuntarily (as we did for bdad), but the waiting period for us was only 30 days. We knew then that the baby couldn't be taken away from us.

What we actually have now is a semi-open arrangement, based on the birthmom's choice. She chose us to be our son's parents, and requested semi-open. And I wish it were more open, which is ironic! But it's working for now.

go to part 2!