Comments on: Other Things to Learn from a Failed Match

By: stonehouse

stonehouse — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:07:34 +0000

Perhaps my questions came across wrong. I wasn’t asking if we should tell our child about her siblings but how. When I reread my comment, I realized how it came across.

And about the name I was just looking for some guidance or support because this is our first child and we have just received all of this news. We have not made any decisions about what we are going to do we are just processing it all.

By: Jenna Hatfield

Jenna Hatfield — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:09:46 +0000

You should absolutely share that information with your child. It’s her birth right. Why would you hide such information from your child? What purpose would it serve? If it would be the illusion of protecting your child, I would ask what purpose it would serve to lie to your child. Would it hurt more for you to be honest or for them to lose trust in you due to your misguided lies?

If you can’t even agree on a name, I would reconsider this match. A name is important, that is true. However, an inability to either be flexible or find agreement on something of this nature raises huge red flags about how you will be able to handle really difficult communication problems in the future.

By: stonehouse

stonehouse — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:38:53 +0000

My husband and I were recently matched. We are very excited about the upcoming adoption but have some reservations and are unsure of how to handle them.

First the birthmother has a child already. We are unsure about how of if we should share this information with our new baby. Any ideas??

Second, since we have been waiting for more than 2 years we have discussed what we want to name our baby, now she has requested to name the baby. We really want to use our name but we are unsure if we are being selfish. Should we use our name or hers? Any ideas???