Planning a Family Through Adoption

From the beginning of our relationship, hubby and I have been passionate about adoption. On our second date we talked about our dreams of adopting a little girl from China. We were young and so inexperienced with the world at that point. We had no idea what challenges were coming our way that would shape our choices in growing a family.

In the first two years of our marriage my husband spent 19 months deployed to a combat zone in Iraq. On the day he arrived home we had spent a total of three weeks together since saying “I do”. During part of hubby’s deployment I spent some time in Nairobi, Kenya working with the poorest of the poor. It was the only time hubby and I shared the same time zone while he was away. These experiences taught us a great deal about who we are as a couple and who we are as people. We learned about our responsibility to the world around us. We learned what it means to NOT be an American. We truly discovered the reality of poverty and hopelessness. We were changed people.

When we came back together we knew that we wanted to begin adopting children immediately. Many people thought we needed to wait at least a year before beginning our process. We needed our “honeymoon” stage before bringing any child home let alone one with special needs. Hubby and I knew in our hearts that we couldn’t bear to wait another moment, knowing the plight of children around the world as we now understood it to be. We knew we were called. We just had no idea how big a calling it would be.

Because of our situation, no international adoption agency would touch us. So we prayed and sought guidance about how to approach this strong desire to start right away. Should we wait? Should we be practical? What we discovered is that sometimes, being practical goes against everything we stand for and waiting meant more suffering for a child. Then we were led, through a series of events, to the foster care system.

We didn’t begin taking the classes with the intention of adopting from the system. We began because we knew some at-risk teens that we wanted to be prepared to help in the event of them being taken into the system. Within three weeks of the class beginning, I knew in my heart that we had arrived at a place where we would begin our family. Within five weeks of the start of the class, hubby was on board too. Less than a month later, we had been matched with our first child.

Now, nearly two years later and two and a half children later, we’re finding ourselves gravitating back to international adoption. But this time we feel led to adopt an older sibling group or a waiting child with special needs. When we made the call to the agency they were ready to talk, with one stipulation, give birth and then call again.

So, in October I plan to birth this lovely child into the world, pull myself together, take a shower, and call an adoption agency. On a silly note, our youngest son asked yesterday how soon after giving birth would I be calling the agency so we could go get his brother. I asked him how soon he wanted me to call and he said, “Soon as you’re done pushing Bean out!”

No matter what your situation is, if you feel that adoption is meant to be part of your life, persevere and push forward. Trust the twists and turns no matter how frustrating. One of those turns might just lead you in the direction of your child.

Photo Credit.

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