“Adoption Triad” versus “Adoption Triangle”

A triad is “a group of three, [especially] of three closely related persons or things” (from dictionary.com). The birthparents, the adoptive parents, and the child are a group of three closely related persons, so the term “adoption triad” accurately describes the relationship of those involved in the adoption process.

A triangle is used in “a situation involving three persons, [especially] one in which two of them are in love with the third” (from dictionary.com). A love triangle is the best example of this situation. Calling the adoptive relationship an “adoption triangle” implies that there is friction between two of the parties (the birthparents and adoptive parents) because they are in competition for the love of the third party (the child). Calling this relationship a triad recognizes that all three parties are equal and important members of the relationship.

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I am going to skip over the next term on the list (“Permission to Sign a Release” versus “Disclosure”) because I have not heard either used in the context of adoption. If anyone can shed any light on these phrases, please leave me a comment.

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“Search” versus “Track Down Parents”

When a child who was placed for adoption chooses to make contact with his birthfamily, he searches for them. He might do this through the adoption agency, through a private detective, or through his own efforts. Because two or more decades may have passed, an active effort must be made to complete the search. The term “search” is an accurate description of what is being done.

The phrase “track down” sounds like the birthparents have fled and are now in hiding. It brings to mind a team of bloodhounds who are actively tracking down the suspects. In most cases, the birthparents are not hiding their whereabouts: they have simply moved on with their lives and are no longer in the place where they were twenty-something years ago. Also, as previously discussed, the term “birthparents” more accurately describes their role in the child’s life rather than “parents.”