One area of adoption that many hopeful adoptive parents do not think about is protecting their child’s right to privacy. I credit the infertility process for part of this problem. Even the most private couples often find themselves divulging all sorts of personal information after enduring infertility procedures. Of course, not every hopeful adoptive couple goes through infertility procedures before adopting.

Regardless of why, it is common for hopeful adoptive parents to share more information about their child’s history than is wise, and many wind up regretting divulging this information after it is too late. I cringe every time I am told about a “friend of a friend” who is adopting a baby whose expectant mother was raped or is currently in prison. I do not even know this couple, so why am I being told such personal information about this child’s history? What makes matters worse is that this information is being spread before the child is even born!

This series is to explain why it is important to respect and protect your child’s privacy. Many hopeful adoptive couples violate their child’s privacy without realizing that they are even doing it. In their excitement in finding out they will finally be parents, they lose sight of the long-term consequences of gossiping about their child’s history. It might be many years later before they realize the cost of revealing so much information.

I have put together a Top Ten List of reasons why hopeful adoptive parents should protect their child’s privacy. Over the next ten posts, I will discuss each point in detail.

1. Other people do not need to know the details.


2. You cannot control who knows what.


3. Gossip often spreads inaccurate information.


4. Shared information can influence how others view your child.


5. Shared information can influence how others view the birthfamily, which can influence the child’s feelings.


6. Revealed history plants emotional time bombs.


7. Privacy maintains the ability to reveal information in stages.


8. Privacy reserves the opportunity to tell the history in a better way.


9. Your child should not be the only person “out of the loop.”


10. Maintaining privacy shows that you respect that it is the child’s story to tell.

Related Topics:

• Adoptees Personal Information Needing to Remain Their’s


• Protecting Adoptees Past Information



• Saying Too Much



• How To Keep Your Child’s Story Private



• On Sharing Pre-Adoption History



• Sharing your child's story...or not