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I just found out that some friends of mine aren’t going to be able to adopt the foster baby they’ve had for over a year.
I wrote a little bit about their story here.
When the baby was placed with them she was supposed to be a foster-to-adopt child. The bio mom had lost custody and the bio dad was in jail and he’d already signed relinquishment papers.
But then one of his relatives found out about the child…and decided she wanted her. 12 months later, Baby Bebe is leaving the family who has fed her, rocked her to sleep, cared for her every minute, watched her take her first steps, taken her to the doctor, changed her diapers, and soothed her through rough nights. She had a foster mama and papa and brother and sister. Now she doesn’t. That family had a little girl. Now they don’t.
My heart is breaking for them. I don’t begrudge the bio relatives and I now understand that they didn’t know about her until recently – and once they became aware that she existed they’ve been visiting – but I still can’t stand that my friends are losing their child. Because that has to be how it feels – 12 months later.
What is wrong with the system? Why did it take 12 months? Why did this bio relative only find out about the child a few months ago?
What is wrong, and how can it be fixed?
Maybe the bio family could have taken the courageous step to know this child was safe & secure…and let her remain?
Before anyone jumps me let me say hey I have been there & had to watch 3 (yup 3) of my brother’s kids be adopted by foster parents because by the time we found out they were there, it would have been very tramatic to remove them (and the state was not offering any encouragement to us either).