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Next week is my birthday, and we’re going to Disneyland! So, because I’ll be in the happiest place on Earth, I thought I’d take this week to write about the thoughts are sure to be unpopular. In writing and thinking about these topics, I hope to learn more about myself, and also to share with you doubts, fears, and opinions that maybe you’ve had.
Back in June, Jenna wrote a post about the 16 & Pregnant finale. The comments to that post made it onto my list of unpopular opinions to blog. One question was: “How do you know placement was what was BETTER for the baby?” This post is my response to that question.
In this particular case, the biological parents are teenagers.
An ad for car insurance that has stuck with me shows a picture of a brain with the question: “Why do most 16-year-olds drive like they’re missing a part of their brain?” … “Because they are.”
To a certain extent, it’s true. Research by the National Institutes for Health and UCLA have shown that “the brain continues to change into the early 20’s with the frontal lobes, responsible for reasoning and problem solving, developing last.” In stress situations, teenagers don’t “rationalize” as well as adults. Dr. Jay Giedd Jay Giedd, a practicing Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and Chief of Brain Imaging at the National Institute of Mental Health, has said, “It’s sort of unfair to expect teens to have adult levels of organizational skills or decision-making before their brains are finished being built.”
When looking for solid research and statistics about the results of teenage pregnancies, I found a slide presentation by a medical student at Boston University. She actually attributed all of her stats – not many on the web do these days. The following information comes from that presentation, which includes a complete bibliography.
Teenage parents are less likely to finish high school. They are at a greater risk of being in abusive relationships. Teenage parents are less likely to seek out prenatal care. Babies born to teenage moms have a greater chance of experiencing fetal distress, low birth weight, anemia, and respiratory distress, all of which can affect a child as he or she grows. Abuse and SIDS are two of the most frequent causes of death among healthy infants born to teenagers.
Children of teenage parents are more likely to have cognitive disorders and are more likely to be abused. Daughters of teenage mothers are more likely to become pregnant as teens, and sons of teenage mothers are more likely to be incarcerated.
On the flip side, a recent study indicates that adoptive parents invest more time in their children than biological parents. Adoptive parents tend to be older, more educated, and more financially secure.
So, how do I know placement was better for that particular baby? I don’t. But statistically speaking, I have reason to believe that placement is better for babies of teenage parents.
I admit I’m biased – my son’s birthmother is a teenage mom, and when I was looking at the statistics and stories, I was shocked to see how many of them applied to her, her siblings, and the children she’s parenting.
I don’t think babies should be taken from teenage parents. I don’t think there should be an age requirement for parenting. I have no desire to return to the Baby Scoop Era. I don’t think all teenage parents are bad. I do think that teenage parents or their kids can beat the statistics, and that there should be more support and resources in place to help them do so.
I don’t think adoptive parents are perfect. I don’t allege that they’re less likely to experience problems than any other parents of the same age group. These problems do include divorce, abuse, death, and financial instability.
In online forums, blogs, and real life, people – especially adoptive parents – are often “jumped on” for expressing the opinion that adoption is a better option than teen parenting. Empirically speaking, it is. That doesn’t mean we’re right. It just means that we’re entitled to express our opinion without being called names.
Thank you for mentioning that adoptive parents also divorce, die and experience financial and other forms of instability. I’m all for discussing the issues that ALL parents face, not just teen parents.