Infant adoption, child adoption, domestic adoption - To Name or Not To Name...The Counter Argument

04/06/06

To Name or Not To Name...The Counter Argument

Posted by : Storm in Hoping to Adopt Blog at 05:09 pm , 249 words, 105 views
Categories: Naming Child

Ok, a few days ago, I posted my opinions regarding the re-naming of adopted children from foreign countries.

Although I still stand by my opinion that a name is a name...celebrate the culture and don't worry about what others say...there are some very passionate people out there in the adoption community that beg to differ, so I want to share their points of view, as well.

The people I have spoken to in regards to re-naming adopted children state that many times all a child has is their name. That is their one and only connection to what they had...their country, their birth parents, their culture.

To strip the name from the child as if they were always English, to them, is denying or cheating them out of their heritage, and that's why they are so passionate about either keeping the child's birth name all together, OR to make some part of their birth name be their middle name...just as long as it's in there somewhere.

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I have heard many positive remarks regarding successful usage of children's birth names and I commend those folks for finding a balance that works for them.

To me, I still believe that it's not that necessary, especially in the case of an infant, to use the birth given name...HOWEVER, these folk's opinions are DEFINITELY worth merit, and I appreciate all of the responses that are PRO keeping the birth name vs. changing the child's name.

Until Tonight,
Storm

4 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Jan Baker [Member]

· http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/

I've been thinking about this since you posted the other day. My thought is that if as you say, "a name is just a name", why add more for a child to deal with and change their name?

Granted there may be some rare situations that a child might be old enough and want to change their name. However, for a child old enough to know their name, wouldn't it just give the child more to have to adjust to if you change their name? Don't newly adopted children already have enough to deal with?

Permalink 04/06/06 @ 19:13

Comment from: Storm [Member]

I've probably not made it clear that my opinion of this is for the younger children of International Adoption.
Most International children I've seen adopted are 3 and under...young enough that a name change is no big deal...
Hope that clarifies. :)
Storm

Permalink 04/06/06 @ 20:33

Comment from: notyetamama [Member]

We thought a lot about this when we got our referral. We haven't got our baby yet, so she is not officially renamed but we plan on renaming her. We did struggle with our decision and consulted my husband's sister who was adopted from Korea at 2 and 1/2 and her name was changed. She said "go ahead, change it". She also said on a separate ocassion "thank god" in reference to her parents changing her name. She of course, does not speak for all adoptees but her thoughts made me feel better.
The reason I really wanted to name my daughter is to have that experience and I think just like keeping her birthname (we did as middle names), naming her ourselves is special and in a way a gift both for us and from us to her. That is what I will tell her.
If she was older, we would not have changed it. Right now we are not sure if her birthmother named her or someone else who was there when she was born. Also her foster mom is calling her, her middle name so really she will have had three names by the time she is one and will keep them all. I don't think it matters a lot, the most important thing is she is loved.
http://waitingfornina.blogspot.com/

Permalink 04/06/06 @ 23:52

Comment from: Angela [Member]

· http://ukraine.adoptionblogs.com/

I know stories where older children (8 years and up) wanted an "American" name. The name change was part of becoming a family to them.

And I know of another situation where the family had to change the girl's name. The name started with a V and sounded like an English word for female parts.

I did change my daughter's name for a different reason. Her legal name was Natalya.

But everyone called her by a nickname; Natasha.

At home I call her Natasha, Natashenka (another Ukrainian nickname), Natalya, Tashie, Tasha, Pudding Pop.

And I buy her pencils with Natalie and Natasha printed on them.

I am doing this because of an adult adoptee that I met. She struggled with identity. There was baby Sue and adult Karen.... And Karen felt very disconnected from baby Sue.

By acknowledging all of her names, I hope to avoid this self-identity issue.

And I added new nicknames. I really don't remember why/when I started calling her Pudding Pop.. strange nickname.

Permalink 04/07/06 @ 11:43

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