In my Surviving the Wait series, I quoted Cindy Lewis Dake’s book, Infertility: A Survival Guide for Couples and Those Who Love Them, as saying…

If Christmas is hard because of its obvious family overtones, then [Mother’s Day and Father’s Day] are like bombs being dropped on your life. While everyone is celebrating the women who are mothers and the men that are fathers, you and your spouse feel severely cheated…again.

That is how Mother’s Day always felt to me when I was going through the infertility and adoption processes – like emotional bombs blowing up my life. I tried so hard to hold my grief at bay, but there was no way NOT to think about my empty arms when I was repeatedly reminded that Mother’s Day was approaching. Once again, I would be the only thirty-something woman who did NOT stand up to be recognized as a mother at our church. While all of my friends happily prepared to be honored, I was left out in the cold.

While I waited to become a mother, I endured four Mother’s Days with empty arms. With experience, I learned ways to make this time of the year a little more bearable. This Top Ten List is to pass on to you what I learned so that you can prepare yourself for this season of your life. I will discuss each item in the Top Ten List in detail over the next ten posts. I hope that this Top Ten List will help the next several days to be a little more bearable.

1. Limit your exposure to Mother’s Day advertisements.


2. Focus on honoring your mother or mother figure.


3. Make plans for Mother’s Day that take you away from the hoopla.


4. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel.


5. Set aside time to grieve.


6. Brainstorm coping strategies for when you are blindsided.


7. Plan activities that you enjoy.


8. Confide in a good friend that you are struggling.


9. Spend quality time with your spouse.


10. Lean on your faith.

Related Links:

• Surviving Mother’s Day Series



• Surviving the Wait: Christmas, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day


• Mother's Day Hard All Around