Unfortunately, meddlers are a part of life. You need to develop a plan of defense so that their nosy comments will not catch you off guard.

Here is my Top Ten list for dealing with meddlers:

1. Build confidence in your own choices.


2. Stop caring what other people think.


3. Give up the guilt.


4. Decide ahead of time what you want to keep private.


5. Prepare a script in advance.


6. Look past the comment and into the heart.


7. Educate the ignorant.


8. Use humor.


9. Know when to be firm.


10. Know when to walk away.

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Your strongest line of defense against meddlers is being confident that you are making the best decisions for your family. You are never going to receive approval of every choice from every single person in your life, and that’s okay. What matters is that you are making the decisions that are best for YOUR family. Nobody else’s opinion really matters.

My husband and I planned to adopt again, but we changed our minds after going through the home study for #2. (Hub really wishes I could have agreed with him BEFORE we paid for another home study, but that’s another story for another time. LOL) People were floored to learn that we had decided to stop at one child. This was not a decision I made lightly. There were many variables involved in reaching this decision. By the time I went public with this decision, I was confident that this was the best decision for our family. So, when well-meaning people questioned my decision, it did not rock me or cause me to second guess myself. It really did not matter to me what anyone else thought about my decision because I was happy with it.

This leads me to the next item on the list…

#2 -- Stop caring what other people think.

It is normal and human to seek approval from other people. Children seek their parents’ approval. We want our bosses to approve of the jobs we do. When it comes to our personal lives, the only people who need to approve of what we are doing is ourselves.

There is no replacing loving and accepting yourself for who you are. Self-acceptance is a powerful shield against meddlers. When you accept yourself from the inside, you no longer need validation of being accepted from the outside. One reason we put up with meddling is because we feel the need to be accepted by others. That need diminishes when you truly, at a heart level, think that you are a good and worthwhile person. Part of self-acceptance is believing in your ability to make good choices for your life. As your need to be accepted is fulfilled from the inside, you will care less what other people think about your life.