The first topic we will discuss arises from this question, which was submitted by a reader:

How do you deal with annoying comments like "Why not just have another [child] of your own [rather than adopt]?" and, "Are you sure you'll love them all [bio and adopted children] the same?"

If you have ever deviated from society’s “norm” in any respect, you have probably fielded comments from a buttinsky. There is just no pleasing some people. They believe that they know the “right way” of doing things, and they see any deviation from their ideas as an invitation to discuss (and criticize) your life.

I have developed a formula for shielding your family from your local buttinsky. The procedure is outlined below. Failure to adhere to each and every step forever waives your right to privacy from meddlers.

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2. Wait 2 years.

3. Conceive Baby #1.

4. Give birth to a healthy baby.

5. Wait 1.75 to 2.75 years.

6. Do you want another baby?

• If yes, go to step 7.



• If no, too bad. Only children are spoiled. Go to step 7.

7. Conceive Baby #2.

8. Give birth to a healthy baby.

9. Do you want another baby?

• If yes, go to step 10.



• If no, schedule a vasectomy.

10. Do you already have a boy?

• If yes, then you have enough children. Schedule a vasectomy.



• If no, go to step 11, but you BETTER make a boy this time.

11. Wait 1.75 to 2.75 years.

12. Conceive a boy.

13. Give birth to a healthy boy.

14. Schedule a vasectomy.

The fact that you are reading a “Hoping to Adopt” blog tells me that you have probably already violated the procedure, so you are now sentenced to handling meddlers for the rest of your life. Alas. The good news for you is that I have violated them, too, so I have lots to share about dealing with meddlers. I have actually violated several of the rules myself – I adopted, I added a child well after 2 years of marriage, and I chose to have an only child (who is NOT spoiled, by the way LOL).

There are ways to tactfully handle unsolicited comments about how you grow your family, and there are times in which a less tactful approach is appropriate. We will discuss how to do this over the next several blogs as well as develop some tools to help you to care about meddlers’ opinions a little less.