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Waiting for an expectant mother considering adoption to choose your profile can seem like a never-ending process. The waiting may become much longer than you anticipated. You may begin to feel sad, angry or hopeless. I am here to tell you not to lose hope.
There’s always hope.
The truth is that every mother is looking for something different in a family for her child. You shouldn’t ever lose hope that you possess that little something. The issue, of course, is that you don’t have any clue, at any given time, what any given mother is thinking about with regard to a family for her child. As such, you need to present yourself truthfully… and fully… in order to give yourself the best chance.
What do I mean about fully? I mean… fully!
I mean to get into the nitty-gritty in your profile. Perhaps your agency has said, “Oh, just keep it short and to the point.” I will tell you that no birth mother with whom I have spoken made her decision based on three paragraphs. There were other discussions to be had, other questions to ask. And we, as birth mothers, can never have “too much information” about the family adopting our child. In fact, I personally put certain profiles off to the side if I felt that they were being too vague; whether that was on purpose or under the ill-advice of their agency, I don’t know. But I know that wasn’t what I wanted!
We want to know about you. We want to know your family history, about your childhood and what music you listen to. We want to know what medical issues you battle and what your personal goals are for life. We want to know about your parenting style and what you emphasize in your child’s life. We simply want to know. We want to know you.
So: share! Be honest! Get specific! I would be willing to bet a more specific profile works better than a vague one. Any day. Hands down.
