Infant adoption, child adoption, domestic adoption - Why I still hope to adopt...even though we didn't win Powerball!

Hoping to Adopt Blog

09/22/06

Why I still hope to adopt...even though we didn't win Powerball!

Posted by : Adrienne Bashista in Hoping to Adopt Blog at 03:04 pm , 229 words, 62 views
Categories: Marriage

Boo hoo. We did not win Powerball as we had hoped. I guess our next step will be to look for buried treasure next time we go to the beach, as Sandra suggested (our International Adoption blogger...and she would suggest it as she is surrounded by beaches...)

But I still hope to adopt, despite this lack of money and a still-reluctant spouse. And also despite the ever-increasing pace of work(I'm really pushing myself this fall to complete writing projects, adhere to deadlines, and seek out more paying markets than I have in the past 5 years...), my household duties (the laundry...the vacuuming...the garden...my diabetic cat...need I say more?) and my dedication to being here when my kids are at home.

Adrienne, you are being crazy, you say. And maybe I am. But this is why I want to adopt again: my family is not complete. Four is not the right number. Five is.

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So here I sit along with the rest of you, hoping to adopt. Is anyone out there who's in my same situation? Are you having any luck convincing your reluctant spouse to understand how committed you are? Are you trying to get past your worries about money and the future and how you can't even afford a minivan, much less one more payment for soccer or shoes or school field trips?

5 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Jenna Hatfield [Member]

· http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/

I'm not in the adopting place, no. But no time is the right time, ever, to add a child to your family. If you wait for that right time, you'll be old, gray and/or dead. Financial problems come and go whether or not you are in the midst of a pregnancy or an adoption. Cars break down. Refrigerators break. Kids get strange illnesses that need expensive care. And occasionally we adults need a pedicure.

Have you written TO your Husband? You write well which is why I am asking and/or suggesting. Have you explained your heart's desire? Your reasoning? Your love for your children that you all ready have? The love for a child not yet joined to your family?

I write to my Husband when we can't seem to get on the same page. He's usually quicker in responding as he can see my intention and emotion in black and white instead of ten thousand shades of gray.

PS - Stupid Powerball. ;)

Permalink 09/22/06 @ 19:54

Comment from: Adrienne Bashista [Member]

· http://russia.adoptionblogs.com/

Thanks, Jenna. My husband and I have had many discussions about this and he always reads my blogs on the topic. His response has been crystal clear. He is not against adding a 3rd child, but only if certain things in our life change.

I think it would be different if we were talking about our first child, or even our second, but in the case of a third I have to see his point.

I actually take great comfort in this community of bloggers - particularly the older parent bloggers - because they prove that there's no need for me to panic. Unlike with bio children, I don't have a set window during which I can "have" children. If this doesn't happen for 3 years....5 years...8 years...then it's ok. There's no need to rush him if he is reluctant.

I appreciate your words! And yes, I agree..stupid Powerball. (There's another one tonight!)

A

Permalink 09/23/06 @ 04:04

Comment from: Adrienne Bashista [Member]

· http://russia.adoptionblogs.com/

Oh, woops - forgot to log back into the Hoping to Adopt blog. I write this one as well as the Russian one, in case you didn't know...
A

Permalink 09/23/06 @ 04:05

Comment from: jabby [Member]

Adrienne,
So much of what you write sounds familiar. I would also like to expand our family although I'm more open ended about the final number than you seem to be. We have three boys all adopted from foster care. Our middle boy (age 6) was just diagnosed with ADHD and possible ODD. I agree that we need a better handle on him and his stuff before we move forward with another adoption, but . . . I still check the photolistings and keep in touch with people at the adoption exchange agency. We already have the minivan, so we'll just need to keep it running a bit longer. My partner is reluctant, but has moved to "work on an addition or a bigger house and then we can talk about it". So I too have my eye on the Powerball as a way to make that happen :) And I remind myself to be patient, take one step at a time and it will work out.
Julie

Permalink 09/25/06 @ 10:33

Comment from: Adrienne Bashista [Member]

· http://hoping.adoptionblogs.com/

Julie -
Thank you so much for your comment. I'm not sure why, but it made me choke up a bit. Maybe because I feel like the chips are stacked against me in this area (not winning Powerball, but adding a 3rd child). It was nice to hear someone who thinks what I want is ok!
Adrienne

Permalink 09/26/06 @ 04:02

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